Giants vs. Cowboys. Needs no introduction.

1. Stop Marion Barber III

This has to be the number one priority. Whoever the Cowboys will be trotting out to play QB should be overmatched by the Giants’ front four. Therefore, Barber is by far the most dangerous weapon. When they aren’t running it with Barber, the Cowboys figure to throw screen passes and dink and dunk it to Barber. Like Brandon Jacobs, “Marion the Barbarian” is not an easy man to take down. The defense needs to be watching his every move and take him out by the legs when he gets the ball. He’ll make arm tacklers look silly.

2. Start Kenny Phillips

Michael Johnson had a great game against the 49ers, but it’s time for the first round pick to see more playing time. Because the aforementioned Marion Barber III will be the centerpiece of the Cowboys’ offense, and because Terrell Owens is such a threat in the open field, the Giants need to go with the sure tackler from Miami. Johnson and James Butler have done a solid job thus far, but both have weaknesses in their game. Phillips is the most talented of the three and is ready for an increased role.

3. Hit Witten in the Ribs

Oh shush. Don’t act like I’m a bad guy for suggesting this. It’s not like you wouldn’t do it if you got the chance. For those of you who don’t know, Cowboys’ tight end and best receiver (year, I said it) Jason Witten suffered broken ribs against the Buccaneers last Sunday, but may attempt to play against the Giants. If he does, the Giants need to do Witten a favor and test his ailing ribs early and often, you know, to make sure he’s not too hurt to play. I don’t advocate purposely hurting another player, but if someone decides to play with an injury, the opposing team should not hesitate to exploit the weakness. Whether you like it or not,this type of thing goes on in football all the time, and Witten knows exactly what he’s getting into. (For the record, Jason Witten is my favorite member of the Dallas Cowboys).

4. Be-Ware

DeMarcus Ware, who attended the same High School and College as Osi Umenyiora, is one of the best defensive ends in the NFL. For some reason, he thinks is an outside linebacker, but anyone who watches Cowboys games knows better (of course, anyone who watches football watches Cowboys games since they are ALWAYS picked up by everyone’s local stations…but that’s another story). Ware is 2nd in the NFL with 9 sacks and is just coming off a streak in which he recorded a sack in 10 straight games, tied for an NFL record. In my opinion, Ware is the Cowboys’ best player on either side of the ball and is their one defensive player who must be game-planned for. The rest of their pass rush is solid, but nothing spectacular, so it shouldn’t be a problem to slide protection over towards Ware.

5. Practice Safe Trick or Treating

Here are some tips to having a happy, healthy Halloween:

• Don’t consume any unwrapped candy or poison apples given to you while trick or treating.
• Don’t be the one house that gives out nickels or floss or something lame like that.  That’s how houses end up getting egged.
• Don’t dress in all black unless you are staying in well-lit areas or are a Cowboys fan.
• Don’t throw eggs at your friends, unless they are being annoying.
• Don’t wear normal clothes and try to pass them off as a real costume.  That means no “I’m going as a college student! HAHAHA!” or “I’m going as an accountant for KPMG! HAHAHA!”  Have the decency to admit that you don’t have a costume.  People will respect you for it and you may even get extra candy out of it, although I don’t see why you would.
• If someone wearing a Cowboys jersey comes trick or treating to your house, treat them as you would any other person; a guest is a guest.
• Don’t use flammable material if you are making your own costume because I plan to set you on fire.
• Everyone hangs fake skeletons in front of their door.  Don’t be like everyone else; make a quick stop at the morgue for an authentic experience.
• Seriously though, if a Cowboys fan comes to your door, hurl an egg at their face.
• Don’t be The Joker; everyone’s going to be him.  Instead, be “That’s My Quarterback” era Terrell Owens, complete with sunglasses to block out the tears.  Or you can be “Getcha Pop Corn Ready” era Terrell Owens, complete with a bucket of popcorn (with extra butter to smear on Patrick Crayton‘s fingers).

  

Happy Halloween!